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THAT SINKHOLE FEELING (COBRA: REBELLION)

© Sky Max

There's nothing worse that watching good actors flailing around with weak material.

That's been the problem with Sky Max's political thriller 'COBRA' for two series.

On paper, everything should be tickety-boo.

The show boasts a cast with Robert Carlyle in the lead as the unluckiest fictional British Prime Minister ever to walk God's Earth, Robert Sutherland.

© Sky Max

Victoria Hamilton, David Haig, Richard Dormer, Marsha Thomason, Lucy Cohu, Lisa Palfrey, Richard Pepple and Alexa Davies featured as casfregulars in the previous two seasons.

Con O'Neill, Ellie Kendrick, Karan Gill and Andrew Buchan have guested.

All of this acting pedigree should bode well.

However the show has been a resounding dud.

© Sky Max

Ben Richards' creation has suffered from characters who are just too broad brush, dialogue that is frozen stiff and storylines that lack any credibility.

To make matters worse, it is all delivered earnestly by a cast who seen it be under the impression that they are making 'Edge of Darkness'.

Series one jumped from one implausible storyline to another with a central plot about a solar flare crippling the UK.

The follow up was a marginal improvement, with Sutherland's Conservative Government having to handle the double whammy of a Ukrainian oligarch being assassinated at a rugby ground and a massive explosion at sea that triggered a coastal tsunami.

© Sky Max

Series three finds Prime Minister Sutherland's marriage to Lucy Cohu's lawyer Rachel on the rocks just as they are preparing for the return of their twentysomething daughter, Marisa Abela's Ellie who has been studying in South America.

The couple's attendance marriage counselling sessions is frequently interrupted by the demands of his job.

Rachel and their therapist huff and puff every time Robert has to interrupt their sessions to deal with affairs of state, scowling at him as if he is checking on the football results.

Poor old Robert has a lot of affairs of state to worry about, though - funny enough.

© Sky Max

His government is cutting a defence deal with Khalid Laith's Saudi Crown Prince Samir Bin Zayan Al-Bilal.

However they are also being wound up by an Extinction Rebellion type environmental group called Planet Resistance over plans to build a high speed rail link through sleepy English villages like Godly Common.

Setting up camp in Godly Common, Ben Crompton's Planet Resistance leader courts the support of Labour MP and one time Sutherland Government adviser, Marsha Thomason's Francine Bridge.

He has Gregg Chilingirian's Nate Stevens and fellow activist, Emily Fairn's Polly Wright working alongside him and they manage to pull off a spectacular coup in getting Ellie Sutherland to give her security detail the slip and join their protest.

© Sky Max

Going underground, she takes to social media to protest against the Ultra Line project after another Planet Resistance protest at a horse race attended by the Prime Minister, his senior ministers and the Saudi Royals goes badly wrong.

Her social media post leaves Robert smarting and attracts massive media interest, with reporters descending on Godly Common.

However while Ben holds court at a press conference with Ellie and Nate underground, there's a sudden explosion which creates sinkholes thar swallow up large chunks of the village, killing hundreds.

Rachel and Robert Sutherland are distraught at the possibility that their daughter has been killed or, at best, has been buried in the rubble.

© Sky Max

A search and rescue operation is launched, with Alexa Davies' Audrey Hemmings keeping the Prime Minister, David Haig's Foreign Secretary Archie Glover-Morgan, Jane Horrocks' Defence Secretary Victoria Dalton, Richard People's Home Secretary Joseph Obasi and Victoria Hamilton's trusted Downing Street Chief of Staff Anna Marshall up to speed.

Luckily the rescue teams are able to make contact with Nate and Ellie.

However with the police establishing that the Godly Common explosion was caused by a bomb, the finger of blame is pointed at Planet Resistance with Ellie facing possible terrorism charges following her rescue.

Ben, though, suspects the bomb was an act of sabotage by rogue agents of the state and when Nate escapes an ambulance ride before he can be taken into custody and vanishes, it further deepens those suspicions.

© Sky Max

Robert, meanwhile, is facing pressure from Victoria Dalton to close the defence deal.

However when Yasmin Al-Khudhairi's charming but outspoken Princess Yadira Bint Zyan Al-Bilal is held captive by her fellow Saudi Riyals, he and an unlikely ally, Archie Glover-Morgan become more cautious about the deal - much to Victoria's annoyance.

With his marriage rapidly crumbling, the Prime Minister's closeness to Anna Marshall also comes under scrutiny with Victoria plotting his political downfall.

But will she succeed?

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And will the truth about what happened at Godly Common be established?

Given the cast of 'COBRA Rebellion,' I'd love to be writing that the third instalment of Richards' political thriller has learned from previous mistakes.

However it appears to have learnt nothing.

In fact, it actually like a leap backwards from the second series, 'Cobra: Cyberwar'.

© Sky Max

'Cobra: Rebellion' is still full of rigid dialogue, unbelievable plot developments and ropey acting.

Carlyle continues to don the constipated expression of a good guy Tory Prime Minister in a party of vipers.

Hamilton haughtily breezes into COBRA meetings, looking with contempt at those on the right of her party and loyally at her Prime Minister.

Haig spits, snarls and smarms as Archie but this time is overtaken in the nasty stakes by Horrocks' comically cardboard rabid right winger.

© Sky Max

It's hard to watch Horrocks at times who pulls faces every timeshe appears onscreen, as if she is acting in a French and Saunders spoof of 'COBRA'.

She is so poor, it's hard to comprehend that this is actually the same actress who gave us 'Little Voice'.

With Richard Dormer wisely legging it before this series, Davies takes over the role of government civil contingencies adviser and wastes her time talking blandly on video conference platforms.

Like her, fellow cast regulars Cohu, Abela, Thomason, Obasi, Lisa Palfrey as the Joint Intelligence Committee chief Eleanor James and Edward Bennett as Archie's oily special adviser Peter Mott slavishly go through the motions of a really leaden script.

© Sky Max

In the guest roles, Crompton, Chilingirian, Fairn, Al-Khudhairi, Laith, Geoffrey McGivern as a big cheese in the defence industry, Cavan Clerkin as a Met police chief and Anthony Flanagan as a grieving dad with a past also wade through the sludge.

Directors Mo Ali and Sasha Ransome operate as if they're making 'State of Play' but they cannot breathe life into ridiculous scripts with laughable dialogue and storylines.

Watching it, you can't help but feel it's a miracle 'COBRA' made it to two series, let alone three.

But come on Sky Max, Robert Sutherland has suffered enough as a fictional Prime Minister.

So have the viewers. It's time to push the nuclear button on this joke of a series.

(Series three of 'COBRA: Rebellion' was made available for streaming on NowTV and Sky Showcase on October 12, 2023 and was broadcast on Sky Max from October 12-November 16, 2023)

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