NO STRINGS ATTACHED (PINOCCHIO - ZEMECKIS)

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There have been 23 movies based on Carlo Collodi's Italian fantasy for children, 'The Adventures of Pinocchio'.

Three of those alone have been released in 2022.

Some of the films have been live action. 

A lot have been animated.

Many have been made in Hollywood.

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However the story has also been brought to the big screen in Italy, the Czech Republic, East Germany, Belarus, Russia, Indonesia, Canada, Belgium and France,  

If that wasn't enough, there have also been 20 TV movies or series based on Collodi's tale and countless books and stage productions.

Collodi's characters have also popped up in everything from Manga comics to 'Shrek'.

Even Steven Spielberg riffed on the story in his 2001 science fiction epic 'AI: Artificial Intelligence'.

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So what is it that keeps drawing filmmakers, in particular, back to a story which was first published in 1834?

One theme that has undoubtedly resonated over the years is the way it tackles the human desire for a family -particularly as a way of coping with loss and loneliness.

'Pinocchio' also fits into the mould of the classic odyssey tales beloved by Western literature, with its characters going to Hell and back and emerging on the other side better, wiser and stronger for the experience.

Ultimately, the big draw is the moral of the story.

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'Pinocchio' emphasises the importance of being good not just to yourself but primarily to others and it amplifies the need for everyone to let their conscience guide them away from selfish and self-destructive behaviour.

Temptation and danger lurk around the corner throughout every version of Collodi's story and those who succumb to it are punished.

Pinocchio's gradual realisation that he must dedicate himself to his ageing creator and father, Geppetto is rewarded and ultimately leads to his transformation into a real boy.

When it comes to the image of Pinocchio in our heads, most people will tend to think of Ben Sharpsteen and Hamilton Luske's 1940 animated version for Disney featuring the voices of Dick Jones, Cliff Edwards,  Christian Rub and Walter Catlett.

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However the 1940 animated feature also boasts three classic songs that have had a strong cultural impact.

Leigh Harline and Ned Washington's 'Give A Little Whistle,' 'Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee (An Actor's Life for Me)' and the Oscar winning heart tugger, 'When You Wish Upon A Star' which Steven Spielberg brilliantly deployed in 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind'.

Two of those songs feature in Robert Zemeckis' star studded 2022 Disney+ live action remake - 'Give A Little Whistle' doesn't make the cut.

Zemeckis teams up again with Tom Hanks who he worked with before on their Oscar winning collaboration 'Forrest Gump,' 'Cast Away' and 'The Polar Express'.

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But it also indulges a passion throughout his directorial career for pushing the boundaries of visual effects and particularly combining live action with stunning CGI.

Working from a script he co-wrote with the 'American Pie' and 'About A Boy' co-director and producer Chris Weitz, Zemeckis casts Hanks as Geppetto and largely sticks to the plot of the 1940 movie.

With Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Jiminy Cricket narrating the story, it opens in Geppetto's late 19th Century wood carver's cottage which is full of cuckoo clocks that he makes.

Geppetto, we are told, is mourning the recent death of his wife and while he has the company of a cat named Figaro and a goldfish called Clio, he has begun work on a puppet based on a son who also died.

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Naming the marionette Pinocchio, the eccentric wood carver babbles away to his cat and fish and wishes upon a star before going to bed.

All of this is observed by Jiminy who has sneaked into the warmth of the wood carver's cottage.

While Geppetto sleeps, Cynthia Erivo's Blue Fairy visits the workshop as Pinocchio, voiced by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, is magically brought to life.

The Blue Fairy tells Pinocchio he will become a real boy if he is truthful, brave and selfless and she appoints Jiminy as the wooden boy's conscience to guide him away from doing wrong.

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Geppetto is stunned when he wakes up to find Pinocchio has become a walking, talking wooden boy and when he gets over the initial shock, he is in a state of bliss.

However the old man also feels a responsibility to ensure Pinocchio develops properly and decides to send him to the local school.

Setting off for school, Pinocchio is approached by Keegan Michael Key's sly fox Honest John who is accompanied by his cat sidekick Gideon and can see the commercial potential of a life like, stringless marionette.

Jiminy recruits the help of Lorraine Bracco's seagull Sofia to successfully persuade Pinocchio to ignore Honest John's shallow promises of fame and fortune in a puppet show run by Giuseppe Battison's hideous Stromboli.

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However when Pinocchio goes to school, the headmaster freaks out and kicks him out of the building.

This provides Honest John with an opportunity to entrap Jiminy in a glass jar and exploit Pinocchio, swooping in on the wooden boy and persuading him to find fame and fortune with Stromboli.

When Pinocchio doesn't return home for dinner, Geppetto, Figaro and Cleo are concerned and set off on a desperate search for him.

Performing for Stromboli's travelling puppet theatre, Pinocchio is an instant success.

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However Stromboli has no love for or loyalty to Pinocchio and locks him in a cage to prevent him from ever escaping.

Will Pinocchio be able to escape the clutches of the nasty Stromboli?

Will Jiminy, Geppetto, Figaro and Cleo be able to find him?

Unleashed in a big, bad world of temptation, will Pinocchio be able to keep on the right path and become a real boy?

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Zemeckis and Weitz make few changes to the narrative in the 1940 Disney original film penned by Ted Sears, Otto Englander, Webb Smith, William Cottrell, Joseph Sabo, Erdman Penner and Aurelius Battaglia.

However like a lot of the recent live action remakes of Disney classics such as Jon Favreau's 'The Lion King,' Guy Ritchie's 'Aladdin' and Tim Burton's 'Dumbo,' their version ends up being really underwhelming.

Visually the film is a real feast and the CGI effects are undeniably stunning - particularly in the sequence where Pinocchio is taken to Pleasure Island.

However all this effort is rendered pretty meaningless by a woeful script with some of the hammiest dialogue you will hear in a movie this year.

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Faced with a screenplay whose words are dreadfully dull and stale, Hanks and most of the cast just overact.

The two time Oscar winner rather depressingly adopts stage Italian mannerisms in another wiggy performance to rival his equally disappointing turn as Colonel Tom Parker in 'Elvis'.

Battison also amps up the stage Italian mannerisms as Stromboli as if he has decided to do a more sinister version of Gio in the 'Go Compare' ads.

Luke Evans simply shouts his way through the part of The Coachman who leads kids to Pleasure Island, only to turn them into donkeys.

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As for the voice cast, Ainsworth is exactly what you expect as Pinocchio -accentuating the wide eyed innocence of the puppet boy.

Gordon Levitt, Bracco and Erivo are fine as their respective characters but not mind blowing.

Only Keegan Michael Key really shines as Honest John, with a vivacious performance that captures the fox's bon vivant delivery while at the same time lacing it with generous helpings of opportunism and self-interest.

Even he cannot distract from the jarring dialogue and stagey set pieces in Zemeckis' film.

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For all the wonderful visual pyrotechnics of the Pleasure Island sequence, which even the harshest critic must admit would look amazing on a cinema screen, you find yourself getting irritated by the film's plot execution, its weak characterisation and the inevitable ham acting.

Take, for example, Lewin Lloyd's poorly written role as Lampwick, the mischievous and reckless boy Pinocchio befriends on the journey to the island.

Lloyd plays him as a Wiseguy - a kind of a prototype kiddie version of Paulie Walnuts from 'The Sopranos' - which just seems so out of place.

Pinocchio's adventures should be thrilling but they are just tiresome.

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Zemeckis' movie seems like an opportunity wasted. 

It brings very little to the party.

And unfortunately for him, it coincides with Guillermo del Toro's version.

('Pinocchio' was made available for streaming on Disney+ on September 8, 2022)