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SCARING THE BEJAYSUS (FEAR STREET, PART III: 1666)

Every now and again, a debate rears its head about the most mangled Irish accent to ever be deployed in a movie.

Many would make the case that Tom Cruise's Joseph "You're A Corker, Shannon" Donnelly in Ron Howard's 'Far and Away' galloped away with the title in 1992.

However arguments can be made for other terrible accents by other graduates of the Kelloggs' Lucky Charms School of Dodgy Irish Acting.

Does anyone remember Tommy Lee Jones' U2 loving IRA bomb maker in 'Blown Away'?

Lloyd Bridges, though, in the same film gave him a run for his money.

What about Mickey Rourke's morally conflicted Irish republican in 'A Prayer for the Dying' or Brad Pitt's paramilitary laying low in the US in 'The Devil's Own'?

How could we forget Richard Gere's pixie headed accent in the remake of 'The Day of the Jackal'?

Then there's Fred Astaire and Petula Clark butchering the brogue in 'Finian's Rainbow' and Julia Roberts floundering in 'Mary Reilly'.

Recently Christopher Walken and Emily Blunt's accents deservedly came in for a hiding in 'Wild Mountain Thyme', while long before them Marlon Brando made a complete hash of it in 'The Missouri Breaks'.

Wisely, Sean Connery didn't even bother to take a stab at an Irish accent on his way to winning an Oscar for his role as an Irish cop in 'The Untouchables' 

Unfortunately Richard Bradford served up a wobbly accent instead for his sly Paddy whacking cop in the same film - a kind of weird mash-up of Fred Astaire and Frank Carson.

But hang on a moment.

Sure and begorrah, hasn't 2021 given us new contenders for the title?

Hang your heads in shame the cast of 'Fear Street, Part III: 1666'.

Even though Irish immigration didn't hit America in huge numbers until the 18th and 19th Centuries and the Irish presence was pretty minimal in the Puritan 1660s, there's a whole village of leprechaun sounding people in Leigh Janiak's third instalment of Netflix's 'Fear Street' trilogy.

And try as they might, Janiak and her cast cannot quite manage for the rest of the film to upstage the twin horrors of badly mangled Irish accents and twinkly eyed clichés - to be sure, to be sure.

'Fear Street, Part III: 1666' takes us back to the origin story of the curse that has dominated the trilogy.

The curse has unleashed a parade of serial killers on the town of Shadyside in the previous two films.

But here's the twist, we are seeing it through the eyes of Kiana Madeira's 1994 character Deena Johnson and therefore many of the 17th Century characters are played by cast members from the previous two films.

Therefore, Madeira plays Sarah Fier, the witch believed to be behind the curse that has terrorised the town of Shadyside for centuries.

Benjamin Flores Jr, who played her brother Josh in the previous films, is her 1666 brother Henry Fier.

Ashley Zukerman, who is Sheriff Nick Goode in the first movie, plays his ancestor Solomon Goode, with Ted Sutherland playing Young Nick.

Sadie Sink, who was Ziggy Berman in the 1978 edition of the franchise, plays a girl with a mischievous glint in her eye called Constance, with Emily Rudd who played her sister Cindy in the second film back this time as her 17th Century sister Abigail.

Jordana Spiro, Fred Hechinger, Olivia Scott Welch and McCabe Slye also return to the franchise for period roles in a movie that owes an awful lot to Robert Eggers' unsettling horror film 'The Witch'.

But with some of the cast in the previous films appearing in period costume, the movie also plays out like a supernatural horror version of the third 'Back to the Future' instalment, which also featured Michael J Fox sporting a dodgy Irish accent.

At the beginning of 'Fear Street, Part III: 1666,' Sarah Fier and her brother Henry are delivering piglets on their farm in the Puritan village of Union which would later divide into Shadyside and Sunnyside.

All is well in the settlement, where Sadie Sink's Constance and the local kids tease Michael Chandler's Pastor Miller with a cheeky rhyme.

Sarah, Olivia Scott Welch's Hannah and Julia Rehwald's Lizzie roam about the woods to obtain hallucinogenic berries from Jordana Spiro's recluse when they come across a book of black magic.

She confronts Sarah on discovering her reading the book and the group flees with berries in hand which they and some friends consume at a party around a bonfire.

Jeremy Ford's Caleb sexually harasses Hannah at the party and is challenged by Sarah and is left smarting after he is ridiculed in front of the other attendees.

Leaving the party, Sarah and Hannah reveal their feelings for each other and share a forbidden moment of intimacy but are spotted by McCabe Slye's Mad Thomas.

At this point, things start to go awry in Union.

Flies start appearing everywhere. The fruit is ruined. The well is blocked by a dead dog, sparking fears that the water is contaminated and Sarah and Henry's pig consumes her piglets.

Pastor Miller also starts to behave weirdly and his behaviour sees him lock several children in the meeting house and kill them, gouging out his and their eyes.

As the settlers search for answers, Caleb reveals the scandal around Hannah and Sarah and whips their neighbours up into a frenzy by denouncing them as witches. 

Forced to flee a mob of torch bearing settlers seeking to punish them as witches, Sarah is sheltered by Solomon Goode.

However the action suddenly whips back to 1994 when Kiana Madeira's Deena discovers the truth of what happened in Union.

Along with her brother Josh, Gillian Jacobs' adult Ziggy Berman and Darrell Britt-Gibson's janitor Martin, she hatches a plot to rid Shadyside of its curse in the shopping mall. 

Unlike the other two films in the franchise, 'Fear Street, Part III: 1666' doesn't overdo the horror movie homages.

'Carrie' gets referenced again, as in the previous instalment and there's a definite feel of the 2003 'Nightmare on Elm Street/Friday the 13th' crossover 'Freddy versus Jason' about the movie's denouement.

The catapulting of the story back to 1994 actually livens up a handsomely shot but plodding period horror and it undoubtedly benefits from Janiak's assured handling of the action sequences.

If Janiak has proven anything with the 'Fear Street' trilogy, it is that she is a very good action movie director - even if her screenwriting leaves a lot to be desired.

But Janiak certainly saves the best for last with a smartly executed showdown between good and evil in the shopping mall.

Cinematographer Caleb Haymann also deserves a lot of the credit, crafting some handsomely lit images in the Puritan setting of 1666 and then effortlessly changing tack, switching back the the memorably vibrant, neon horror scenes in the shopping mall.

Madeira, Flores Jr, Scott Welch, Jacobs, Sink and Zukerman do their best with a script which may harbour notions of Arthur Miller's 'The Crucible' and Terence Malick's 'The New World' but is actually about as convincing as 'Scooby Doo'.

Indeed the Hanna Barbera cartoon may be the greatest influence on the trilogy or, at least, it feels that way.

Going back to 1994 enables Janiak to treat her audience to songs like The Offspring's 'Come Out and Play,' Pixies' 'Gigantic' and Oasis' 'Live Forever'.

The door is also kept open for a 'Fear Street' movie universe.

But does it really merit further exploration?

While there are elements to admire, ultimately the series has disappointed because it has been far too reverential to the horror genre for its own good.

Once you scratch away the slick homages and overlook the dodgy accents, the pickings are very slim in 'Fear Street' indeed.

It's time to give us a rest.

('Fear Street, Part III: 1666' was made available for streaming on Netflix on July 16, 2021)




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